Have you ever met a strong willed child? Well, let me introduce you to one.
He's cute, right. Well it's a good thing for digital cameras because I am realizing I don't have any pictures of his melt downs. I'm going to get them on camera, though. I will have to add them in later. Maybe even a video so he can see himself and see how silly he acted. The definition of being strong-willed is unwillingness to yield; stubborn; obstinate. Oh yeah, I've got one of those. Probably the biggest battle we have is his eating. If he doesn't like what we are having for dinner, he just won't eat. If we try and make him eat, he holds that piece of food in his mouth. I'm not just talking about for a little while. I'm talking about for HOURS at a time. He will hold that piece of food in there until the saliva builds up and he starts drooling. We have tried ignoring, spanking, time out, putting his food up and bringing it out for his next meal everything. I've pretty much given up on it. If he eats, he eats. If he doesn't oh well. I give him vitamins and he drinks lots of milk. <--That's what the doctor said to make sure he is getting anyway. The other major battle is behavior. We demand that he is respectful. I mean HELLO we do live in the South. We expect for him to say please, thank you, yes mam, no sir and just to be nice. He usually is but he can have a major attitude. That really doesn't bother me that much, but what bothers me A LOT is when he doesn't get his way on something and it can be a very small thing he will throw a major melt down. He throws a fit for the smallest things and it gets him in more trouble then if he hadn't of thrown a fit. I just don't understand it.
So, once again I am turning to James Dobson's second book
The New Strong Willed Child. Love it so far and love all his great Godly advice. Here are some quotes and is exactly how I feel.
"First, it is very common for these moms and dads to feel great guilt and self-condemnation. They are trying so hard to be good parents, but the struggle for control that goes on at home day after day leaves them frustrated and fatigued. No one told them that parenthood would be this difficult, and they blame themselves for the tension that arises. They had planned to be such loving and effective parents, reading fairy tales by
the fireplace to their pajama-clad angels, who would then toddle happily off to bed. The difference between life as it is and life as it ought to be is distressing."
Oh wow, this was so me. I have wanted to be a mom since,well, since forever. Never in my life did I think it would be this hard. I get so frustrated and then just say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing(or just don't do anything) and then feel so guilty. When my Father asks me what I did for the children He gave me I want to be able to answer Him.
"Second, I have found that the parents of compliant children don’t understand their friends with defiant youngsters. They intensify guilt and embarrassment by implying, “If you would raise your kids the way I do mine, you wouldn't be having those awful problems.”
I am thankful to have Christian friends, but I do still feel like I have to explain my child to them. I'm sorry . . . he is strong-willed.
So I'm going to keep reading, keep re-searching and keep praying for my sweet strong-willed child!
~danielle
